Sunday, January 31, 2021

fact #66

everyone is adept at finding a train of reason that lets them off the hook. 

you.

me.

and false logic is a thing. 


Friday, January 29, 2021

fact #65

writing doesn't have to be anything more than a way to reconcile oneself to one's Past. 

Monday, January 25, 2021

fact #64

unhealed, deepening resentments or feelings of victimization lead to habits of animosity that are tantalizing, hard to resist, and easy to excuse oneself for.

the cycle of hurt continues. the band plays on

fact #63

shared oblivion is not a bonding mechanism. 

there you each are, alone inside your individual experiences of escape. 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Monday, January 11, 2021

fact #60

i am aware of my moments of cowardice, as they are occurring. i either talk myself out of the correctness of the emotion, making extrapolations and excuses, or i sit with the emotion and let the anvil of it bear down on my heart. every now and then, some sort of false childhood lesson pops up and complicates these moments but, in general, my experience of my own cowardice is correct and here's the deal: when one feels themself slide into cowardice, that is the call to action. that is the moment to stand rather than slump. that is the instinct meant to call your Better Angel forth. 

and so i accept that if i am able to correctly identify moments of my own cowardice 99% of the time, so, too, can others. whether or not one answers the call to amend their own behavior in the moment of experiencing this emotion (an instinct to ethical dealing) is a choice. having a substantial enough apparatus of integrity necessary to enacting that change might be the real issue, but responding to the initial call to combat ones own cowardice with real movement (in deed and word) in an ethical direction is one of the big methods by which that apparatus is built. 


Saturday, January 9, 2021

fact #59

i am aware

that i must determine

a new definition

for what i mean 

by "living."

fact #58

it feels really good to walk around New York City and know exactly where you are, exactly where you're going, and exactly how to get there. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

fact #57

i can list the facts as i know them, but i cannot tell you what my brother felt or saw.