honest nods not so pretty not always quite so thick with integrity blood-heavy as a tick the suck of old love old hate long-standing feuds resentments left to fester grudges grown large in the dark of sorrow and shame a cluster of blisters the tattered pillowcase full of baby teeth scars hidden below the sock line diaries in the underwear drawer the jewellery i stole from my father's girlfriend and later handfuls of condoms spermicidal foam hatred so much hatred my sister says WATCH YOUR MOUTH via text and my hidden hatred explodes her egg shells all around me tired of tip-toeing i erupt shrapnel flung from every wound every pore the old barbs darts and arrows once slung into my large and easy heart if we were sisters once it was a long time ago now we're on our own roads i'll admit it hurt my feelings when she called me a drunk flinging at me the name our step-daddy flung at our mother 7 hours after she died bludgeoning me with our father's title whispered behind his broken back in the aftermath of the accident suddenly i felt the deep twisting scorch of the word a label unfurling and flapping wildly about my shoulders for the whole world to see a bright banner bigger than starling my sister named me and i shuddered blocked her number hid the key called her TRAITOR dove back into my bottle and set my sights on a life somewhere beyond the reach and echo of old names shouted down the hall
Your mother named you at 14. Selfish little girl, do you think of no one but yourself?
ReplyDeleteYour mother named you at 14. Selfish little girl, do you think of no one but yourself?
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